Friday, September 30, 2005

Karl Rove comes home.

Well, actually, I got the rugrat a couple of budgies. I've been meaning to for ages, and I finally got off my backside.

they are young, malleable, with their wings trimmed so that I can get them used to being handled.

And they are named Karl and Rove. Karl is a bit larger and gryeblue with a yellow head and grey tail. Rove is your basic blue budgie. I did think of naming them Halliburton and Chimpybushmchitler, but those names are a bit long for a 3year old to learn.

Now I've got to teach them a few good phrases, too. Like "It's all about the oil!" and "black helicopter!"

Maybe even "where's my lake?"

Monday, September 26, 2005

The latest waste of bandwidth from

Dear Mr. Bracks,

Whilst this email is coming to you via the website, I would like to take this opportunity to advise you that as one of your constituents, I would be much obliged if you could aid the passage of this legislation.

We are living in uncertain, dangerous times. To this end, sometimes we need to take unsavoury actions to maintain our freedoms.

As Thomas Jefferson once said, "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."

We are at a place and time where that has never been more appropriate.



Greenpeace need a new tag.

Well, I got my regular junk email from Greenpeace today. I was really good and didn't delete it straight away, as usual.

Just as well, as Greenpeace are apparently looking for a new slogan. To quote Greenpeace (ie cutting and pasting the relevant bit from my email):
Create a Greenpeace peace slogan

We would like your ideas about potential slogans, visuals and logos for a new communication challenge we're facing.

Our goal: to inspire the public about nuclear disarmament so people feel empowered to act. We?d like to focus on people who are worried about nuclear weapons, but are doubtful the problem can be solved. We want to stop talking about "doom and gloom", and start talking about the very real possibilities for greater peace in a world that is free from nuclear weapons.

We want to create optimistic communications to encourage the creation of Nuclear Weapons Free Zones around the world. So, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to create a slogan, logo or visual representation about the above.

How about: STOP IRAN NOW! Keep North Korea Nukefree! Landrights for gay whales?

OF course, the only people who will think that this sort of 'initiative' could have any impact on the world are too busy cowering under their tinfoil hats to look at what's going on in the rest of the world (that is, the world that isn't considered western civilisation).

A quick squiz at JihadWatch will show that there are plenty out there who are more than happy to deal with nukular weaponry. Personally I find the idea that our own allies have access to this sort of stuff quite comforting.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Pussy Force

Okay, I'm not being fair to our boys and girls in blue, but this piece of policy is offensive in the extreme.

Since when are our police there to provide culturally appropriate, customer orientated services to all Australians?

I always thought they were there to uphold the law, and since we only have one law in this country (except for the other ones, like the Koori Court). Looks like I was wrong.

As ever, our public servants here in Brackistan are pandering to the minorities.

I am severely unimpressed after reading this wankfest.

Whatever happened to catching criminals? All our coppers seem to be doing are raising revenue via cameras and making sure the religious minorities don't have cause for complaint.

Sorry, guys, this is Australia. We have one rule of Law, and when you live here you should abide by that. If you want to get overly wussy about it, then feel free to move to a fascist state (Iran or North Korea, anyone?) and then you can have something to really whinge about.

Our policy makers need to get their heads out of their arses and put our police back to work. No wonder they call this the Nanny State.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Oops! No grogblogging for me.

Bummer. I've just found out that not only does tomorrow night's babysitter's children have worms, so do the rest of the family. Add to that a toddler with a bug, I'll be sitting at home with my own little gorilla and dosing her up with combantrin.

I know I'm piking, but I figure that in the scheme of things, I'd prefer not to be up at night dealing with klingons.

Sorry, guys. I was seriously looking forward to tomorrow, but I'll have to wait for the next one. :(

Monday, September 19, 2005

Sheikh wants evidence of Muslim complicity in 9/11?

In regards to my views on the perpetrators of 9/11, I have heard that the Premier of Victoria, Steve Bracks, was offering to provide me with evidence that may change my mind on this issue. The Premier should be congratulated for his open mindedness and kind offer. I would be more than happy to look at any evidence Mr. Bracks has to offer, and may even change my view if the evidence is overwhelming.

So Sheikh Omran wants evidence that the US did not conspire to hijack its own planes and kill thousands of its people? He's expecting Steve Backflip Bracks to get back to him on that? Well, Sheikh, you've got buckley's on that one.

As for evidence, well if Osama bin Laden is more than happy to claim responsibility for the bombings, and Muslims around the world were documented as celebrating the massacre of thousands of people, is there more that needs to be said?

Most likely, since these stories are coming through the infidel media, the Sheikh will be happy to disregard these.

And what about MEMRI? I guess these guys are considered the mouthpiece of the devil, also.

Occam's Razor suggests that the perpetrators of 9/11 were Muslim terrorists and not some shadowy US conspiracy, but that holds no weight with people like the sheikh.

I wonder what excuses there are for the shenanigans at Beslan? Boys' night out? Accidentally had a bit to drink? Too much chocolate and the endorphins kicked in?

Or how about, we decided to kick some infidel arse, and if some of those arses were under the age of majority, then at least they won't grow up to breed more dogs.

This non-stop worming around the truth of events sickens me.

The reason you don't believe that Muslims carried out the hijackings in 2001 is purely because it makes a good sound bite, Sheikh. It gets your name up there, people visit your website and help raise your profile. It aids your jihad against the western depravity that you so eagerly participate in.

You utilise our laws, our technology, even our lefty-apologetic moonbats (forgive them, Father, they know not what they do), all the while plotting our downfall.

When* you have succeeded in destroying the aussie way of life, will you be happy? Or will you just keep looking for more ways to make everyone else a slave to your 'religion'?

*disclaimer: I do not believe that Islam is destined to rule the world. This is rhetoric!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

It's official! Dark Lord a tin bum!

Oh. My. Gourd.

What is the world coming to?

Okay, here in Oz tipping is purely a matter of choice. IF the service is okay, I'll leave the change on the table. If the service is good or great, damn straight I'll leave a tip. Nice words will give you warm fuzzies, but cash is more practical.

Overseas, it's not the same. Much as I think America is a great place, their wages structures leave a lot to be desired. Minimum wages are what I consider slave labour over there, and tips are a means of supplementing meagre incomes.

For a bit of a snicker, check out Bitter Waitress, where the wait staff get a bit of their own back.

And if you're eating out in the States, please remember to tip.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

For all your halal needs.

Since I'm a happy camper here in the Nanny State (aka Brackistan), I will leave it up to my humungous posse of readers to check this out.

This was found via theMuslim Community Co-operative of Australia.

Enjoy browsing.

Grogblogging #3 for those in Melbourne

I'm sure everyone's seen the open invite over at Rachy's, but I'll just throw it in here for anybody else out there in the Melbourne section of the blogosphere.

It's on Grand Final Eve (big whoop!) and starts at the Clyde (cnr Elgin and Cardigan in Carlton) about 7pm.

I have no idea who will be there or how many, but I'll at least be able to recognise myself in the window.

Might have to look at getting t-shirts made up.

Any suggestions for captions?

The TMI Files. Sex and the Single Parent.

hehehe. Yeah, right!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Things (not) to do at work when you're bored.

So these security blokes at Spring Street (Victoria's Parliament House) are bored, right? How do you stave off the drowsiness?

Send yourself through the x-ray machine!

I have to admit, this broke me up. Talk about nufnufs!

Friday, September 09, 2005

Letter from an Australian Dentist

Edited to note: This is a fraud.

From Faith Freedom:

To Kill an American



You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American. So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is ... so they would know when they found one.

"An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

Please circulate this. This is the best instruction for those bigotted Muslims who are filled with the hatred of America and Americans.

I don't think I need to say any more.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Anger at S11 terror talks

MUSLIM groups not invited to the Prime Minister John Howard's terrorism summit last month are to hold their own peak gathering - on September 11.

The PM's office yesterday described the timing - the fourth anniversary of the September 11 attacks on the US - as unfortunate.
Muslim community leaders admitted yesterday the timing was controversial, but said the date should be reclaimed as one of healing, not of Islamic terror.

This is where I pick my jaw up. Why on earth would we not see 9/11 as an anniversary of Islamic terror?

Wasn't that when thousands of people were killed courtesy of planes flying into buildings and fields?

Jets hijacked by Islamic fundamentalists? An atrocity claimed without remorse by Osama Bin Laden as part of an Islamic struggle for domination in the world?

What part of this is unclear?

Labor leader Kim Beazley questioned the choice of date.

"It's certainly confronting," Mr Beazley said. "While it may have been done with the best intentions it will not sit comfortably with a lot of Australians. I think it is unwise."

Mr Beazley, "confronting" is a bit wishy-washy even for you. Confronting? I confront my bank when it comes to overcharging on my credit card. I confront poor service in restaurants.

This date is a deliberate smack in the face of those who suffered and died - the living and the dead. Maybe it's a test of our so-called tolerance laws.

I don't know for sure, but I do find it incredibly offensive and insensitive.

About 500 delegates from a range of Australian Islamic community and ethnic groups are to attend the meeting at the University of Sydney.

It has been organised by the Affinity Intercultural Foundation, an interfaith Muslim organisation founded in 2001.

"We must reclaim this date," said Affinity organiser Mehmet Saral."

"That date was the date Islam was recognised as the religion of terror," he said.

And the problem with Islam being recognised at the religion of terror is.....?

Okay, we have 9/11, Bali, Madrid, London.

Do I hear an Oklahoma City? Sorry? That wasn't orchestrated by Islamic fundamentalists? oops. My bad.

And that's without thinking.

Imagine what a bit of brainpower could throw up.

Off-Targetted Marketing.

We've all heard the stories of kids receiving offers of credit cards in the post.

I can top that.

My garden gnome got one of those today. He's been sent an application from American Express for an American Express Gold Credit Card with an 11.99% p.a. interest rate.

I'm impressed. All he had to do was park his name in the white pages for a few years, and he gets this.

I did call up and have a chat to AmEx this arvo after getting the mail. I don't usually read other people's letters, but I felt justified in this case. After all, I've been lugging this piece of moulded concrete around for the last 18 years. (I'll post a photo of him in the next day or so when I get my camera back.) Apparently, they get their mailing lists from some other company.

LOL. They've been dudded in this case, haven't they?

Okay, I've strung you out long enough. Here is how they got "George's" name:

Basically, I'm too tight to pay for a silent line, so I just have a name for George, and that goes in the phone directory. Since I'm paying for the service, and there is no law that says I can't put another name in the book, it works for me.

I do get the occasional call from somebody looking for a relative of George, but I just explain that they're a different branch of the family.

It cracks me up when the telemarketers call and ask if they are talking to Mrs George. I usually tell them they are and I'm not interested.

How sad is that? I'm married to a garden gnome.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

You asked for it. Those easily offended, look no further.

This is BoganBabe 1.0. Taken in 1999 in Sheffield, England. A jolly good time was had by all on that trip, and this is one of the better photos taken. I do, of course, have a pile of drunken Nilknarf photos, but i'm not going to waste bandwidth on something so common!

Now.... Prepare to meet your DOOOOOM.....

Greetings from BoganBabe1.1

Please note the fluffy slippers and the hot water bottle strapped to my back.

Am I a picture of sartorial splendour or what?

This photo was taken at about 8am in the morning and I was in labour at the time. I really wasn't too concerned about looking my best.

It shows.

Extreme measures required?

I was channel surfing the other night, and happened upon Insight, a sort of debate program on SBS. I've watched it on occasion, but hadn't thought of it due to a lack of tv guide. I came in about halfway through the show, and was instantly hooked.

It was a debate on what is happening in Australia with Aus muslims. This was, it seems, in answer to the whine that the other week's debate with PM John Howard didn't address enough muslims.

Read the whole transcript - it's enlightening. There are a few typos which cracked me up (sucker/succour in particular), but if you can get past those, it's worthwhile.

Kudos to Jenny Brockie, the chair of the debate, I guess you'd call her. I think she did really well, especially when it came to getting some of the clerics back on track. Or trying to, at least. She kept her cool while I was ranting at the teev at some of the comments.

A little something to whet your appetite for more:
JENNY BROCKIE: Okay Nasya, what about you, your from Melbourne, how do you feel about Sheik Omran speaking for Muslim Australians, or that being the impression that people out in the community have that he's somehow representing Muslim people?

NASYA BARFIN, LECTURER, DEAKIN UNIVERSITY: Unfortunately the people who are outside the community ... it's really difficult to understand how Byzantine and how complex views within the Muslim community are. And when you're looking at it through the prism of person A or person B, it's easy to take that view as representative of the whole community.

JENNY BROCKIE: Are you worried about views like that?

NASYA BARFIN: I'm more worried about how people will react to those views, both Muslims and non-Muslims.

JENNY BROCKIE: What do you mean by that, how they will react?

NASYA BARFIN: I'm worried about my mother walking down the street with nobody with her and getting attacked. I'm worried about people's reactions to those views in terms of what my little brother has to face in his classes. That's what I'm worried about.

JENNY BROCKIE: Aside from the discrimination, are you worried about those views at a more political level, at the level of somebody preaching that kind of thing?

NASYA BARFIN: I think perhaps you're underestimating the intelligence of the average Australian viewer. You've got to bear in mind the audience isn't a passive one.

JENNY BROCKIE: Okay, fair enough. Kuranda, yes?

Now that's what I call straight talking.

Or our good friend Sheikh Khalid Yasin (the bloke who reckons a muslim cannot have non-muslim friends):
JENNY BROCKIE: Okay, Sheik Yasin, you're a visiting lecturer from the United States, what do you think of Osama bin Laden?

SHEIK KHALID YASIN, US CLERIC: I think it is wrong for you and any one else to personalise this issue with Osama bin Laden, I am as a visiting lecturer to this country, I am a visitor to any other country and an American, I am enraged that people keep personalising this with individuals. I do not support the suicide bombers or genocide bombers, wholesale terror or retail terror, the terror of individuals or the terror of states. I think again I would like to reiterate what my constituent over here said, that you are personalising the issue and that is not the whole issue. It is not a baseball team.

JENNY BROCKIE: To be fair, I don't think I'm personalising the issue, I'm bouncing off what somebody else has said here.

SHEIK KHALID YASIN: I'm bouncing directly off you, you're coordinating this discussion.

JENNY BROCKIE: Okay, so you are saying that you don't ...

SHEIK KHALID YASIN: I've said for the record, my answer to what you've just said, and I don't think we should personalise the issue. We're living under a spectrum of terror and if you tear that spectrum in half and make a straight line there are two ends of it. We need to work about both ends, those who provoke it and those who react to the provocations.

To which, of course, we can all say.... huh?

God bless Sr Aziza for her words:
JENNY BROCKIE: Sr Aziza, I'm interested in what you have to say.

SR AZIZA ABDEL-HALIM, AM MUSLIM WOMEN’S NATIONAL NETWORK: Sheik Yasin with respect, this would give the wrong message to young people. I have a lot of Australian friends who share Islamic values with me, they're Australian values too, and when you look back to the way of the prophet and we know he was the living Koran and that we emulate him. He used to go and knock on the door of his Jewish neighbour if he didn’t see him for a few days, to find out if he was well and to see if he needed assistance. When Christian delegations came he invited him to meet about him in the mosque. When the time for prayer came he allowed them to pray in the mosque. Why are we then stressing extreme lies like marriage that is personal decision anyway.

SHEIK KHALID YASINI: I can answer her question?

SR AZIZA: We cannot promote an attitude like that among the young people.

SHEIK KHALID YASIN: The Koran forbids that I give my daughter to a Christian.

SR AZIZA: We're not talking about marriage we are talking about friendship.

SHEIK KHALID YASIN: I qualified what I meant by friendship.

JENNY BROCKIE: Sr Aziza when you hear those sorts of comment as an Australian Muslim how do you feel about the fact that's the representation?

SR AZIZA: I feel very upset because I feel that young people on both sides, Muslims and non-Muslims are getting the wrong message, they're getting the message we cannot be friend with you, we cannot share anything with you and that's not right.

JENNY BROCKIE: Clearly there's criticism of the media in this. Is there also criticism of the communities or members of the community the way they're portraying it?

SR AZIZA: Yes. A lot of women sometimes that I meet tell me "My daughter is a friend of an Australian girl. I can't let her be like that." I said, "Why. Australians believe in family values, believe in morals, believe in a lot of things. Just check the family and find out if they're on the same level as yourself."

There speaks a lady with real spirit.

Please go and read the transcript. It prints off at 13 pages, but it's worth it. I might even start watching SBS (television for Special People) again.

Islam, Human Security and Xenophobia in Melbourne!

Well, a conference about it, at least.

For enquiring minds here in Melbourne, this is on my list of Things To Do.

The closing date for registration is november 11, and the conference takes place on Nov 25 and 26. It costs $250 per person (student $120), and is open to all comers.

I know this because I emailed and asked them.

I'll be there representing the RWDBs. Hopefully I won't be a lone bogan in a sea of lefty apologists.

And it's in the City, YAY!

*note to self: consider getting a t-shirt that will offend the lefties.