Monday, September 05, 2005

Off-Targetted Marketing.

We've all heard the stories of kids receiving offers of credit cards in the post.

I can top that.

My garden gnome got one of those today. He's been sent an application from American Express for an American Express Gold Credit Card with an 11.99% p.a. interest rate.

I'm impressed. All he had to do was park his name in the white pages for a few years, and he gets this.

I did call up and have a chat to AmEx this arvo after getting the mail. I don't usually read other people's letters, but I felt justified in this case. After all, I've been lugging this piece of moulded concrete around for the last 18 years. (I'll post a photo of him in the next day or so when I get my camera back.) Apparently, they get their mailing lists from some other company.

LOL. They've been dudded in this case, haven't they?

Okay, I've strung you out long enough. Here is how they got "George's" name:

Basically, I'm too tight to pay for a silent line, so I just have a name for George, and that goes in the phone directory. Since I'm paying for the service, and there is no law that says I can't put another name in the book, it works for me.

I do get the occasional call from somebody looking for a relative of George, but I just explain that they're a different branch of the family.

It cracks me up when the telemarketers call and ask if they are talking to Mrs George. I usually tell them they are and I'm not interested.

How sad is that? I'm married to a garden gnome.


At 10:14 PM, Blogger CB said...

Deb, that would be highly amusing if George actually took up their offer and purchased a shit tin of goods online. They offered credit to an inanimate object. It's up to them to get it to pay for it, isn't it?

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Nilk said...

I was tempted, cb, just to see how much they would give him.

There is even a facility for a supplementary card, so he could get the credit and I could spend it!

I might have to do a credit check on George via the CRA and see how he stands.

I'm not sure if he's a legal entity, though.

I'm also not sure how he could earn the money to pay back what he spends. I really couldn't see him as an exotic dancer.

At 7:57 AM, Blogger CB said...

It would appear that one of the definitions of a legal entity also entails said entity accruing and using credit. Obviously your bank has taken the time to assess George's financial standing and offered credit accordingly. Why not take this to it's logical conclusion, document the facts of the story and sell it to A Current Affair?
Just as completely paralysed people are still legally entitled to utilise credit even if they can't sign their name to a transaction, gnomes should be entitled to a fair crack at the free market. So should, for that matter, my letter box. And the front door. And my car...just give them a name,put it in the phone book and wait for my Gold AMEX.

At 11:42 AM, Blogger Caz said...

You married a gnome just to save $36 a year?!

Do you recycled dental floss & glad wrap?

At 4:07 PM, Blogger Rachy said...

That is absolutely hilarious. I did something I saw in the news once, stole a garden gnome before going overseas and sent a postcard to the owner... then returned the gnome when I got back.

At 4:11 PM, Blogger Nilk said...

I'm moving house in the next few weeks, so I'll scan a copy of the application as well as a pic of George.


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