Sunday, September 17, 2006

The TMI Files. No Snogging Allowed.

Yesterday, I awoke with a bit of a sore throat. It felt all dry and swollen, and was an annoyance all day.

Today, it was worse. My glands are up and painful to touch, and it's become quite difficult to swallow. There's a bit of a cough, and my neck is aching, but not enough to incapacitate me.

However.... I took myself off to the quack, as I can't really afford to get seriously ill, and figured it best to get it sorted out before it got any worse.

So what did the doctor have to say? Septic throat.

Now I'm obviously not as sharp as I should be, since I asked him if it was contagious. Heh.He looked at me like I'd just been hit with the stupid stick and replied that I could still talk to people, but how did I think I'd caught it? I told him I didn't know, and his response was that I need to be careful - no kissykissy.

Needless to say I nearly fell off the chair laughing at that one. I told him I didn't even know what kissykissy was these days, so there's no worry there.

He laughed too, and sent me on my merry way with a prescription for ye olde antibiotics.

If anyone can toss me a clue as to how kissykissy works....



At 6:21 AM, Anonymous Grimmy said...

It is told, by the ancient ones, late at night, in the darkest of the pre-dawn hours, while the dawn, still hides her crack, covered by the robe of darkness. Moonless nights. Deep is the darkness forming the robe that hides the glories of dawn's crack from view.

Around a small campfire with a low hot glow of coals burning in the bottom of the fire pit. It is told. Told to us who have asked. Asked because we wish to know. These are the mysteries. These are the mysteries eternal, kept by the ancient ones. The sacred knowlege that seperates us from the animal.

Ancient one, How is it done?

Young one, you must do it as it has always been done. It is our way, that's why we do it.

But Ancient one, can I not do it another way?

No Young one, you may not. It is our way. If you do it a different way, then you did it their way, then you would be them. And that would make your mother cry.

I see Ancient one, I am shamed.

No Young one, there is no shame in asking. We've all wanted to do it another way but then we would not be us, we would be them and all our mothers would cry.

I see Ancient one, so I am not perverse in my desire to do it the other way?

No Young one, you are not perverse for wishing to do it the other way, unless you just want to make your mother cry. If that is so, then you are mean and mean Young ones have their toes eaten at night by the rats with pointy teeth.

I do not mean to be mean Ancient one and I do not wish to make my mother cry. The bread she bakes gets soggy when she is unhappy.

Yes Young one, sad mothers are eternally cursed by soggy backed goods.

So, Ancient one, I must do this?

Young one, if you wish to rid yourslef of this curse, this burning discomfort of these demons lodged in your throat, then yes, you must do this. And you must do this our way or your mother will cry and serve you soggy bread for dinner.

Ancient one, I will do this, and I will do this our way so that my mother does not cry and my bread is not soggy. But, honestly, it has to be my sister that I kiss so deeply and passionatly to rid myself of these demons torturing my throat?

Yes Young one, you must kiss her deeply and passionatly, kiss your sister as if she was the lover of your dreams. But, do not enjoy it. For that is not our way, and we know where that goes, soggy bread and all.

So, find your youngest sister, plant a big wet mouthful on her and give her your throat demons as a nice gift.

Hope that helps. Get well soon.

At 8:14 AM, Blogger Nilk said...

Luckily for me my sister is older. That is really disgusting lol.

Unless, I should be snogging my brother?

Either way...... bleh.

Almost better now, thanks, Grimmy :)

At 11:27 AM, Blogger Jai Normosone said...

Kiss your sister? Kiss your brother? Well... you are in Victoria..... >:)

Don't ask me about how the kissy-kissy stuff works.... You're the one with the rugrat - I thought that you'd be the one to know :)


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