Speech Impediment.Over the last few years, I've been doing a lot more reading on matters religious. I'm noticing that there have been a few changes going on inside me, and it's been intriguing to watch the developments.
One change that is particularly fascinating to me is my self-talk and how I am expressing myself verbally these days.
I've been reading the bible - New Testament and Old - as well as the quran and ahadith. I am a voracious reader of the anti-jihad sites, which some might label anti-islamic. I also read islamic sites, and christian sites. Along with a smattering of jewish blogs.
Add to that regular church services and being able to discuss beliefs without fear of ridicule or mockery, and it's been leading to no small enlightenment.
What I've found is that my faith is becoming stronger, and with it, so am I.
What I've also found is that my language is changing.
Don't get me wrong, I can still drop some serious words if the situation warrants it, but when it comes to taking the Lord's name in vain, I am less inclined to do so. Rather than an exasperated "For God's sake!" I am using "For goodness' sake!"
I had a top with a picture of Jesus and the caption: "Jesus loves you, but... everyone else thinks you're a dickhead." I never had any difficulty laughing at that, and while I may still snicker every now and then, I can't bring myself to wear it any more.
It feels disrespectful and wrong.
I've always been given to far too much self-analysis, but there is a new dimension to it. Rather than merely considering the physical and emotional pathways I could take, I now factor in the religious side of things.
I don't consider myself a "spiritual" person, although I've taken pathways that could be labelled as such. I just find that my internal view of the world is becoming much richer and more satisfying.
After decades of searching, I think I'm finally finding myself.
Even better, it's not scary at all.
(Well, not to me. Maybe to other people lol!)