The TMI Files. Hippy Gnu Yar!
Okay, so I've had a half a glass of plonk. I'm not drunk, though. Not even sloshed. Just trying for something a bit different.I hope you all had a great break. Mine was good, although more hectic than expected.I thought that I was spending a quiet time with Magilla. I've pretty much put a moratorium on Family Xmasses, but that still didn't stop the invites coming. As it was, on the day, we went to church in the morning, had lunch in the mountains with friends, and then the little tacker went off to do family things without me.
Boxing Day was spent roaming the sales with my new (old) housemate, the Godmother. We were housemates for years before, during and after pregnancy, until she moved out with her boyfriend. Due to circumstances, she is no longer with the boyfriend, and we always made good housepals.
(Bear in mind, that during this time, my monitor was playing up, so I've pretty much missed a week's worth of news. I don't know how I survived, but obviously I did.)
After one day of rest (the 27th), it was truck time. I got to go hire a truck, and we moved furniture from her old house to her new house. Luckily the big room in the place here was sort of vacant. I just hadn't gotten around to setting it up as a workshop.
Had a friend stay for a few days after that, and a pleasant visit it was. He fixed my computer and demolished my shed, both of which are eternally appreciated.
He also, I'm not sure whether to be grateful or not, introduced me to parts of myself that I've not been acquainted with for a while. Places I thought sealed off, and uncomfortable spectres have been (re)haunting me.
All those fantasies I had of living in the middle of nowhere are looking mightily attractive, even if they are thoroughly unrealistic. Where would I buy chocolate?
Time for another visit to the headshrinker, I think. It's only been about a year or so since the last trip. :) Someone to bounce things off is always nice; even better if they don't know you from a bar of soap. That way you know that there is no hidden agenda. Just an open one of $130/hr, thanks!
And, on top of it, Magilla has a bug. Okay, it's only a temp of 39.2. Not much I know, but enough to make her grumpy and demanding. She's off her food, but plenty of fluids. As usual she's running around the house starkers (yes, she's at that stage - hates clothes), but in 20C weather, she should be feeling the cold. She's not. Poor thing.
I've got to admit it, this year is certainly interesting so far.
I hope everyone else has a good one, too.
As I reportedly exclaimed when offered a C-section: Bring it on!
Cheers!
posted by Nilk @ 8:49 PM
1 Comments:
"He also, I'm not sure whether to be grateful or not, introduced me to parts of myself that I've not been acquainted with for a while. Places I thought sealed off, and uncomfortable spectres have been (re)haunting me."??
That sounds very much like a comment from a woman who has experienced life with the average Aussie male. She may have X-number of kids but still has X+1 to contend with :(
I have grumbled many times on my own blogs about the females in this country but I've never denied that the vast majority of the blokes out there are either immature wankers who want to use any woman they can find, or.... Gee - I can't seem to think of an alternative.
It's like a mate says though: He tells me that Australians are ignorant - and he is one just like I am. It's all too true. We have no concept of the real world out there unless we travel overseas. Aussie Women have no idea that there are blokes who *can* be honourable in their actions towards them and don't think a good night out is bagging another bird at the pub after many beers (or getting into a fight). When all you see is the one option, you pick the best of the only option available. The trouble is that usually NONE of the options are worth the oxygen they waste.
Before anyone says that I blame women for my own lack of a partner, I will happily admit though that it's not entirely the fault of the women that meet me and go "yuck" as I'm not the most politically correct person they'll ever meet, nor am I someone who is very tolerant of stupidity and ignorance (although, ignorance can only be deemed as such when the person has no knowledge of the matter at hand. If they've had access to the information and choose to disregard it then it becomes stupidity and the subject of my ire).
I'll be the first to admit that maturity escaped me until I was into my 30's. Whether it exists now is up to those I call my friends to decide (hey - friends are there for many reason; one is to tell you the ugly truth about yourself. If you can't trust a friend, who can you trust?)
Oh wait - this isn't about me.... :)
Nilk, It sounds to me like you have become suitably disgusted with the attitudes of males out there in Australian suburbia (very few of which can call themselves a 'Man' going on the behaviour I see) and you've just conditioned yourself to shut off that part of your life. Coincidently, a mate's wife shut off that part of herself after a miscarriage because she didn't want to risk being in that position again - so you're definitely not the first to experience feelings like this.
Sure, it is easy to fantasize about living in the middle of nowhere and it can sure be uncomfortable to think about getting close to someone and the fear that accompanies the risk of being hurt again (know all about it) but is it easier to deal with an issue head on (as you sound like someone who would) or is it better to stay in the comfort zone and hope that the problem will never present itself again?
I can talk a good argument but I can't live it - the latter seems to be the solution to my own problems :(
I think that if you have found someone that is *worth finding* (it's your opinion that counts here), you will know yourself if he is there just for the 'sealed off areas' or if there is something to build on. I've always said that a relationship started and built upon non-communicative means is doomed right from the start - especially when the urges wane and they discover that they have nothing to talk about. Hence, inevitable split and a waste of months or years of both your lives. Besides, if you have found someone and unless he's a total loser (seemingly like oh-so many others), would he not be thoughtful of your situation and would try to help you through it? (if indeed he is aware of it)
Maybe I've just got this fairy tale version in my head of how relationships should be, but I don't think it should be a contest and that people are there for each other through both the good AND the bad times.
No wonder I'm single :?
In any case, things need to be put into order of significance.
If you have a sick froglet, this is what needs to be dealt with first.
If you have confusing thoughts in your head about your life, then you need to deal with those next. You've already made a good leap in recognising that there is something in your life that you're not happy with. Of course, this is assuming that you think that there actually is a problem there - if you don't see it as a problem, then you can't fix what ain't broke.
Then, if there is someone that thinks you're worth the time and effort and you feel something for him, he will support you and try to help you through it by either waiting on the sidelines or be there to talk or whatever. Either way, he should accept that you have issues that will not go away on their own and will grant you the time and/or space that you need to deal with it.
If not, then is he truly worth knowing?
You can drive a truck??? I have disturbing images of a woman with PMT driving a heavy vehicle.... :)
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