RightWingDeathBogan

The TMI Files. Attack of the Bog Monster.

Two of the scariest words in a new parent's vocabulary.....

Toilet Training.

At 3 1/2 years old, Magilla is pretty good with the process of elimination. She might not be able to say 'alimentary canal' or 'peristalsis', but she knows that food goes down into her tummy. And it comes out of her bottom.

She knows what the toilet is for, and that she has to clean her bottom after doing poo.

Luckily for her, I've got a bit of a toilet paper thing happening. If my stock of bog rolls gets below, say 20, then I get a bit twitchy. I don't know why, but I can't abide the idea of not having any loo paper. At least if there are a couple of dozen, I'll have a week or so before I have to buy more.

Of course, what this also means is an almost endless supply of paper rolls to.. flush, wipe with, decorate the house with, bandage the cat, stretch across the yard.

The latest is using the paper to clean the bowl with after she's finished. Actually, she's using the paper to clean the whole little room with.

She's not at the level of The Bloke Who Came to Say G'day and Never Left. (Mate of a former housemate). When he arrived, we started going through a roll every two days. I don't know if he ate it, but he was certainly doing something in there.

We've also (Magilla and I) been having discussions on the correct usage of bog paper. Which way to wipe and when. After a heated discourse along the lines of:

Me:We wipe front to back, please.

Magilla: No, this way. (back to front)

Me:Wipe from the front to the back.

Magilla: Nooo, thisway.

Me: If you wipe that way, then you might get poo in your fanny and get sick. Is that what you want?*

Magilla: (whining) Noooo. But I want to do it this way....

ad infinitum

She's gotten the hang of it now, so luckily we didn't have to go through that pantomime too many times.

One thing, though, is that she likes to go to the loo without telling me. She's happy to call if she needs assistance, but most of the time she's determined to do it her way or else. She has great aim, so there's rarely any mess apart from paper all over the floor.

It took a long time to get to this stage, but we're getting there.


*This is one of the TMI Files, after all! I've not gone into all the gory details about diseases or hospitalisation, of course. I'll save that for when she's a bit older. Like 5.

posted by Nilk @ 1:33 PM