The TMI Files. A Branch Falls From The Family Tree.I wanted to write something really profound, but I find I am starting to cry properly for the first time.
My dad died last saturday. It was quick and (presumably) painless - massive strokes are like that - but his body didn't realise it.
So after a couple of days in the hospital, first in emergency, then intensive care, when we knew that there was no hope of recovery, we took him off life support.
It only took a couple of hours for him to wind down.
In some ways, it was good, in others, it was horrible.
I didn't say goodbye as such, as he wasn't there to talk to, but I did tell him that I prayed for him and he was in God's hands. I was also sure he'd be pissed with me about that, but I didn't care since it came with me and he could get over it. :)
We were all there. My sis and brother, niece, brother-in-law, my uncle who made it down from Brissie in time, my dad's wife and her daughter, and one of his best friends who was also with us when mum died.
It's a bit of tribe, but that's my family.
Magilla is with outlaws, so I've not seen her since saturday afternoon, but it will be good to see her tomorrow. A hospital is not really the most interesting or suitable place for a young primate.
One positive out of it all is that at least he went out doing what he loved.
On the golf course, of course.
For any golfers reading this, I can't tell you what hole he was on, or what his score was - I'll be finding that out in the next couple of days when we sort out funeral arrangements.
So. Posting will necessarily be light over the next couple of weeks while I get my head around things. God has given me plenty of strength to get through this so far - it's remarkable how I've kept it together so far. It's a lot easier than with mum, but since I've already been through losing a parent, I guess that helps, too.
My dad really was the best man. He wasn't perfect, but he was wonderful. He always did the right thing, and would do anything for anybody.
And now he's gone. As of today I am an orphan.
I've been missing him since saturday, and will continue to do so, but I also know that the hole that he's left inside me will never go away. It will just become less painful and less noticeable.
And I will also notice within myself how much I am like him.
We really do turn into our parents and they are always with us.
I just wish it were on the same plane.