RightWingDeathBogan

The TMI Files. I Need A Husband.

Well, according to Magilla I do.

She's at that stage. She's 6 and a half (can't forget those extra months), and interested in babies. And I do mean interested.

I got a call a couple of weeks ago asking if I knew of Magilla playing the monkey game with TPB. I had no idea, never heard of it. Well, it goes like this:

Magilla lays down on the trampoline over at TPB's place.

TPB lies on top of her.

They bounce up and down on the trampoline.

Presto! Magilla has a baby in her tummy!

LOL!

I am so glad that I heard all about it second hand. There was a discomforting conversation glossing over making babies, and I've reinforced it by telling Magilla that she shouldn't be playing the monkey game. It's not polite and you shouldn't be having babies unless you're married. (Her response: It's okay to have your first baby if you're not married, though, isn't it? Quick reply: Well, darling, it's actually better for everyone if Mummy and Daddy are married and living together but it doesn't always work out like that. That's all *phew!*)

This has led to several requests for me to have a baby.

I've told her several times that we don't have a daddy around, and I'm not married, so there won't be any babies. I'm not getting into declining fertility in your 40s and expecting menopause any year now. I've estimated I've got around 4 years max left for childbearing, and I don't see any action on that particular horizon any time soon!

So now, the goal is to get me a husband. I need one so I can have a baby, so that Magilla can have a baby brother or sister. Spiderboy (the Godmother's son) is just walking now, and he's a lot of fun for her, but it's not quite the same as having one of your own.

Magilla's even worked out exactly what I need.

I need a handsome man who believes in God.

The Godmother thinks this is hilarious, of course, and she's offered her assistance: she's going to hand her credit card over to Magilla and take her to The Husband Shop so she can find me a good one.

Face it, guys.

I'm doomed.

posted by Nilk @ 8:55 PM