The TMI Files. Things Not To Say To Your Child In Public.Your child is swinging a long pole within reach of windows and other things that break easily: "What have I told you about waving that thing? If you break something you'll have to get a job or sell a kidney to pay for that."
Your child is about to break something seriously expensive: "I guess if you break that since you're nearly out of kidneys you'll have to look at selling your eggs next."
While Christmas shopping, your child (who runs on solar energy, by the way) is still talking nineteen to the dozen and you can feel your energy draining away even faster: "Don't you have an Off switch? Can't you keep the noise down a bit?"
To which the answer was a most practical: "But humans don't come with off switches, mum."
My response: "Well they should."
(To the amusement of the pregnant woman on the other side of the shelf in the store).