Wednesday, August 29, 2007

And The Big Men Creep.

Maybe it's just me, but I do wonder where the hard men of Aussie Rules Football have gone.

These days, if you say the wrong thing to another player you can be accused of racism or harassment.

If you look sideways at the ump, you can be placed on charges for that, too.

Actually, there are a whole list of interesting things the AFL are doing in the name of Respect and Responsibility.

And now, if you're a television station who acquires medical records and other interesting stuff that the police find of interest, you owe the club concerned an apology.

For goodness' sake, guys, as Chopper would say,"Harden the fuck up, Australia!"


The title of this post is a new title for Alan Hopgood's play, And The Big Men Fly, which was a staple in many highschool english classes back in the day.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Getting Back To My Regular Programming.

It's been somewhat tumultuous here in Bogan Central for the last couple of months.

We have a new housemate, henceforth known as YR - I'm learning a lot about how teenagers think from this one.

I'm working four days a week in a warehouse and enjoying it thoroughly. Not exactly running the corporate ratrace or world domination, but I believe in baby steps.

July, also, was pretty much a lost month. We had a birthday (Magilla turned 5!) and all sorts of lurgis. If it wasn't the flu, it was the gastro.

But, I've not upset anyone lately. I've not been called a racist, or a bigot or a nazi, so I need to get my backside back into gear.

I found this for your enlightenment and enjoyment. With luck the atheists may even get something out of it.


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Greenpeace's Latest Waste Of Bandwidth.

Please visit Greenpeace to take advantage of their kind offer to harass the CEO's of legitimate computer manufacturers.

I'm thinking a show of support for the companies may help to offset the avalanche of hate mail they will receive from the Leftards and other assorted travellers.

One of my efforts:

Dear CEO

When I next need to replace my computer I would like to have the choice of buying a greener computer.

The last computer I purchased came with a silver case, and it clashes dreadfully with my decor.

Your company, along with others in the industry, has improved environmental policies and promised products free of the most hazardous chemicals in 2008/9.

This is excellent, but I find that a pale green colour is more soothing to my mind, and ensures my bloodpressure remains manageable when thinking of Greenpeace's latest anti-capitalist, anti-Western campaign.

My challenge to you is to be the first company to put on the market a computer entirely without caving in to the worst elements in the radical activist community chemicals to clearly demonstrate your leadership in greener coloured computing.

Yours sincerely,



Dear CEO,

No doubt you are currently experiencing a flood of emails from Greenpeace demanding that you produce "greener" computers by reducing the amount of chemicals in the manufacturing process.

Please disregard those emails as the harassment they are and continue to work towards producing the best product in the most efficient way possible.

By all means be aware of ecological concerns, but not to the extent that you compromise the integrity of your business.

Good luck in your upcoming battles,



Friday, August 03, 2007

Crappy Feet. - No Links, Just 100% Rant And A Few Spoilers.

I'm not in the habit of renting dvds, for the simple reason that it takes me forever to get around to watching them. Better to borrow off mates or just buy a copy, and a lot cheaper than the small fortune I've paid out over the years in late fees.

So I picked up an ex-rental copy of Happy Feet for the young Death Beast-in-training, as it's one she's seen and loves.

I hadn't seen it.

Now I wish I hadn't.

What a load of rancid old cobblers.

George Miller should have known better. Oh, wait, he gave us Babe, so I should have known better. I wish he'd stopped with Max.

Ok, Babe is an okay film, but it does have a slight vegetarian, anti-carnivore subtext.

This is not the case with Crappy Feet.

Talk about ham-handed, smacking you in the face agenda. Blind Freddy can see it coming a mile away!

Animals (Oops! I mean cute, cuddly penguins!) = Goooooood.
Man (And carnivores like orcas and leopard seals = Eeeeeevil.

And just in case we missed the signposts, americans are not good either, because the nasty emperor penguins that cast out our beloved (mutant) hero Mumble have American accents, while the good little penguins who befriend him have latino accents.

Can anyone say "La Raza! Viva Aztlan!"

So what is right with this movie? Apart from some excellent cgi, and a great soundtrack?

Editing, composition, all good technical stuff.

Good performances, and I was quite engaged until the politicking took over. Then I was most unimpressed.

A few notes:

Nicole Kidman, as much as I like her, is not a singer. I like her in Moulin Rouge, but her singing in this is just the same, and just where would we be without autotune?

Hugh Jackman can do much better with his own voice than as an Elvis wannabe, so please do not do that to him again.

Mumble, our mutant hero. Why on earth does he have blue, human-looking eyes? They make him look alien, and it's no wonder the other penquins thought there was something wrong with him apart from being tone deaf and a bit too quick on his feet.

First contact with the eeeeevil humans. First, we have a penguin-caused avalanche making a front-loader fall into the ocean, spilling oil and a dashboard hula dancer with it.

Then, when our (mutant) hero wends his weary way to the human settlement, we first see a delicate little church perched high on a mountaintop.

Above a refinery.

If that's not trying to tell me something, I don't know what is in this crapfest of a movie.

And finally, my favourite bit, when young Mumble gets sucked into the propellor of the ship. Unfortunately for my innate sense of The Way Things Work, he doesn't get minced into sealfood, but survives in one piece.

Apart from being unrealistic, it also made me break up laughing.

A classic book by a few of the Monty Python crew is called "Dr Fegg's Encyclopeadia of All World Knowledge" and contains a description of the Leaping Cow and Badger. I've since lost my copy of the book, but I always remember the Leaping Cow and Badger because "thousands of these happy creatures get sucked into jet engines" in the summer or the mating season or some such.

I wish Mumble was sucked into a jet engine, or the leopard seal got to eat him, or he got banished and then wandered in the wilderness for a season or two until he wasted away. Something a bit more realistic and less preachy works for me, and I most definitely do not appreciate this dreck being aimed at my daughter.

Of course, my laughing at the propellor bit did give her a bit of a surprise, so there's room to move in there.

My score? SFA. Don't waste your money unless you want to give your child conservation nightmares. It is a total load of pustulous dreck.

And in case you're wondering, I didn't like this animated movie very much.